Bob D. Caterino's Storefront

BLOGGING THE LIGHTS FANTASTIC

• A Bunch About Me.

  2007 Mar 05

  Growing up in the city of Newark, New Jersey was fun and exciting for author Bob D. Caterino. He lived amongst mobsters as well as a load of kids. His block alone must have had thirty children living on it. Although a fun time it could be scary also. Television was all the kids had back then besides GI Joe which Bob never had, he just didn't see the point. "Girls play with dolls, Boys play fort, or explore." Having no video games to keep the kids amused, Bob, as a child would start gaining idols to his list of comedy favorites such as Abbott and Costello, Burns and Allen, Steve Allen, Louie Prima, Firesign Theatre, and a host of others by watching television.
  
  Bob started putting on shows for the neighborhood at the age of seven, and started playing the guitar at the age of eight in which he incorperated into these half hour variety gems. He also played bars at this early age.
  
  Bob caught the writing bug and started really focusing on it in 1968, when he wrote his first play for spoken word recording called “Reality in the mind of an Idiot.” Not having any type of studio equipment, he invested in two stereo cassette recorders and over dubbed all the parts himself and included all sound effects. The tape included six tracks. “The Three Moochers” a parody of “The Three Stooges”. “Perry Patience” A lawyer that drives everyone crazy with his soft spoken but angry cross examination even at the dinner table. "Isn't it true, Isn't it true, and isn't it also true, Perry would say, as The judge intrupts and says, "Mr. Patience, you havnt asked anything yet of this witness." His favorite line from the sketch was when Perry, sends his private dick, Paul Fake to ask the general manager of a store about a potential witness. The Manager says “I don’t have to answer any questions, I am the General Manager.” Paul says “what does this have to do with anything?” The Manager says “Everyone knows that a General outranks a Private.” The recording was distributed to radio stations and received some air play. Bob will soon begin his road towards success.
  
  Within the next two years Bob recorded a new comedy he also had written called “Three D Radio” That was the working title and when this product was finished the name was changed to “Radio Free Urine.” 3D radio was kept in the bits throughout the recording. The DJ on all the bits was named Patagonian Pat. The idea was to make it sound like 3 D. He recorded dual voices saying the same things. Some of the bits were parodies on big radio personalities of the time. Bob Grant a well known angry radio personality now known as Bob Take you for Granted,” has a conversation with Nixon and angers the President so much he pushes the button. The alarm sounds and an atomic blast is heard. The pair, Mr. President and Bob Take you for Granted are sent bellowing upwards screaming in harmony. 3 D radio included fake commercials and one that received loads of airplay was “Manny Manicotti’s restaurante and gun store.
  
  Now gaining popularity, Bob gathers together some local comics and forms the comedy troupe “Attic Estate,” with the talents of Bob D Caterino, Bob Hunlock, Ernie Dankovitz and Richard McKanka. They would play all the venues around town and do sketch comedy and would become local heroes at every party of the night. They even played their own music in between gags. The group lasted for three years when Richard was drafted. (Pre Saturday Night Live.)
  
  Trivia: Caterino was turned down by Saturday Night Live, Friday's, and Mad TV." (Hey, I was turned down by the best, maybe this is why I do it all on my own. One day all these shows will be gone but I, I will still be standing when the smoke clears. It might help if I got out from the back of this bus."
  
  Caterino well known for his face, not his name, in the tri state area gets an invite to do a television show with its creator Floyd Vivino. Bob wrote his own sketches and preformed on the show for three years when he decided to move on to what he loved doing and that was writing.
  
  1980 would ring in with a bang. Freelancing for magazines, newspapers and television shows, Bob is now gaining popularity in leaps and bounds. For the next ten years he continued to write for the sole purpose of getting his brand of sarcasm, funny as well as his points across to as many people as he could, and he would.
  
  In 1990 he starts writing short stories but puts them aside for the all American novel. He starts writing “Growing up Goomba.” This is a book about the mob, and how to be just like they are. He incorporates mobsters to teach and show the readers the way. In 1992 he would put the book thing aside to travel. For two years he took his family to Vermont. They love it there, but wanted to see more of this great country so moved to North Carolina, Florida and then it is back to Jersey where his father has taking ill. Bob put everything on hold for the next year to care for his elderly parent until his death. Now living in Greenville, South Carolina, Bob Finishes “Goomba,” and sends it to many publishers but they had many reasons not to take on such a project. “We think the book will cause more harm then good,” some said but they just didn’t get the concept, so Bob started to sell it as an e-book with overwhelming results. Now working on his second book, “Sara,” Bob wanted to try his hand at erotic thrillers. He would finish “Sara,” in 1999 and start selling that also as an e-book. This would fall flat on its face. Bob decides to take “Goomba and Sara” and revamp them. He reedits updates and extends the storylines and starts his own publishing company called “Caterino Publishing.” Now selling the newly written books as paperbacks, Bob would start another project called “Karen’s Possessions”. This book would take bob three years to write. It is a paranormal story about a woman possessed by a serial killer in the roaring twenties.
  
  In 2006 Bob would write the sequel to Goomba called “The Son of Godfaddah.” This is a parody on the godfather Trilogies and once again Bob would self publish it as a paperback. Bob also joins many on line publications and starts doing articles on many different subjects.
  
  2007, Bob has now three best sellers on his hands and only time would tell if the forth would be one as well. Bob, while looking through old papers in a old trunk in the attic, he decides it was time to release many in a compilation book called, “The Junk in my Trunk.” This would include many old and some new work by this author. This book is close to Bob’s heart because it was as if his children have come home again. “Junk” is now selling well as the others. Critics love the wide array of venues he has to offer in this book.
  
  Spring 2007, Bob is finishing up another book of short stories called “Baleful Tales (To die for).” It will be many stories of horror, urban legends and he promises it to be very scary indeed and only time will tell us if it will ring true to what Bob is trying to do.
  
  Now that you are caught up to the “Bob phenomenon”, Google him and see if this author slash comedy writer is not one of the true American treasures of our time.
  
  NEWS:
  Bob will be releasing his thriller on Halloween of this year. It has been well received with fantastic reviews in the test marketing of the book. This is going to be the next phase of horror so look out for it.
  
  Update: The book is an instant hit. "The Last Serial Killer," is a huge hit and Caterinbo's wishes to thank all who supported the book. There is another in the works which will be up and running on lulu.com within the next few months. It is called, The Other Side of Fear." Fear is a group of short stories which will promise to scare you half to death and back. Look for it soon.