Clarkscript's Books

700 Limericks & How to Write Them

Enjoy the limericks and find out how to improve your own verse.

Laughter is good medicine.

Many people suffer from anxiety, depression, stress and other disorders that afflict the mind. Wise folk and doctors have recognized that laughter is a great stress reliever and will improve the general health. To be able to escape worries and strife for a time will do you the world of good.

Limericks are particularly suitable for humor and writing or reading them can be a whole lot better than pills, potions and sessions in therapy.

There was an old man with depression
Who went to his shrink for a session;
But the shrink did a bunk,
And so he got drunk,
But now he has learned his leshun!

When work is getting you down and you are in a rage with someone it can be helpful to step back and see the funny side of things for a while. Reading a little verse or writing one can ease the pain. But be careful what your boss sees, he might not have a sense of humor!

The lady who's known as Lou,
Who thought that she knew what to do,
Complained to the boss,
"You are a dead loss."
"I know that," he said, "just like you!"

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Gaelic Poems

John "Iain" Campbell was a poet of his time: The British Empire shone at its most glorious, and patriotic fervour found favour everywhere. Imbued with the traditional warrior culture of the Highlands, John delighted in praising its virtues in a manner much appreciated at that time.

His greatest characteristics were a sincere Christian piety, and a love of beauty in its every natural expression. Like all native Gaelic speakers, he had a deep fondness for the tongue of his childhood memories.

The Ledaig Bard possessed a genial, hospitable personality that won him a countrywide circle of friends. He received many honours including Fellowships of numerous Celtic, Scientific and Literary Societies. An enthusiastic Bard of Clan Campbell, John wrote mainly in his native Gaelic. He co-founded An Comunn Gaidhealach and his songs still find favour at mods.

The directors of the Gaelic Society of Glasgow sent a magnificent floral tribute to his funeral at Achnaba Church. Saddened by their great loss his friends and admirers funded the building of The Campbell Memorial Hall - close to the shore cave where he had held his Sunday school.



QUEEN HYNDE of Berigonium, Scotland.

by James Hogg (abridged and annotated by William Clark).

Berigonium was the first palace of the Scots, and original home of the Stone of Destiny. Its vitrified remnants perch atop a rock outcrop in Benderloch, Lorn, Argyllshire, Scotland.

The stronghold is also linked with the Ossianic legend of the famed Irish beauty: Deirdre of the Sorrows, and the dashing Sons of Uisneach.

This verse tale by James Hogg is a stirring account of adventure and romance set in the early Scotland of saints and swordsmen.

A young Scottish queen must rule, and seek a husband, whilst in imminent peril from a sea-borne Viking attack. The action ranges from Appin to Dunstaffnage, and crosses to Ireland.

First published in 1825, this abridgment improves the pace and readability of the original. Hogg, who visited the location, claimed the tale to be true -- handed down in story and song -- and many characters are historically authentic.

Whatever the truth, standing on the mighty cliff of Dunvalanrigh (Fort of the King) gazing westwards over the magnificent bay of Ardmucknish it is easy to imagine that great deeds once chose this land as their stage.

And that some beautiful, royal lady gave birth to a legend whose shadows will cling here for ever.



Picture This a natural stone formation close to Queen Hynde's palace of Berigonium. It looks remarkably like a sea deity gazing out to the oceans.