Clarkscript's Books

700 Limericks & How to Write Them (2nd edition)

The need for fresh, original verse is huge and ongoing:

Weddings
Birthdays
Father’s Day
St. Valentine’s Day
St. Patrick's Day
Funerals

People appreciate the personal touch when you have taken the time to write a verse just for them. If you want to make someone feel special there is no better way than an individually crafted poem.

If you would like to write amusing, romantic or inspirational limericks for all occasions this book is for you. Your greetings cards will stand out from the crowd. Twitter users will find how the limerick is perfect for tweets and how to trim their verse to fit the 140 character limit.

Master the limerick and you will succeed with all types of verse including love poems and song lyrics. You will understand how verse is made with rhyme, rhythm, structure, assonance, consonance, alliteration and all the other tricks and techniques to give your verse that polished, professional quality.

This inspiring book contains over 700 examples of limericks linked to place names: USA, Europe and the UK. You will increase your awareness of the world with a smile as you learn how to write a limerick like a pro. You can use these verses as templates to rapidly create your own.

Traditional limericks were first defined as “indecent nonsense verse” but this book shows they are ideal for expressing a wide range of sentiments from comic through romantic to remembrance.

William Clark was chosen as a judge in the Hallmark Cards Valentine limerick verse competition.

The time of the limerick has come;
No longer a verse for the dumb;
With polish and verve
And very strong nerve
It is the best poem for some!





Gaelic Poems

John "Iain" Campbell was a poet of his time: The British Empire shone at its most glorious, and patriotic fervour found favour everywhere. Imbued with the traditional warrior culture of the Highlands, John delighted in praising its virtues in a manner much appreciated at that time.

His greatest characteristics were a sincere Christian piety, and a love of beauty in its every natural expression. Like all native Gaelic speakers, he had a deep fondness for the tongue of his childhood memories.

The Ledaig Bard possessed a genial, hospitable personality that won him a countrywide circle of friends. He received many honours including Fellowships of numerous Celtic, Scientific and Literary Societies. An enthusiastic Bard of Clan Campbell, John wrote mainly in his native Gaelic. He co-founded An Comunn Gaidhealach and his songs still find favour at mods.

The directors of the Gaelic Society of Glasgow sent a magnificent floral tribute to his funeral at Achnaba Church. Saddened by their great loss his friends and admirers funded the building of The Campbell Memorial Hall - close to the shore cave where he had held his Sunday school.



QUEEN HYNDE of Berigonium, Scotland.

by James Hogg (abridged and annotated by William Clark).

Berigonium was the first palace of the Scots, and original home of the Stone of Destiny. Its vitrified remnants perch atop a rock outcrop in Benderloch, Lorn, Argyllshire, Scotland.

The stronghold is also linked with the Ossianic legend of the famed Irish beauty: Deirdre of the Sorrows, and the dashing Sons of Uisneach.

This verse tale by James Hogg is a stirring account of adventure and romance set in the early Scotland of saints and swordsmen.

A young Scottish queen must rule, and seek a husband, whilst in imminent peril from a sea-borne Viking attack. The action ranges from Appin to Dunstaffnage, and crosses to Ireland.

First published in 1825, this abridgment improves the pace and readability of the original. Hogg, who visited the location, claimed the tale to be true -- handed down in story and song -- and many characters are historically authentic.

Whatever the truth, standing on the mighty cliff of Dunvalanrigh (Fort of the King) gazing westwards over the magnificent bay of Ardmucknish it is easy to imagine that great deeds once chose this land as their stage.

And that some beautiful, royal lady gave birth to a legend whose shadows will cling here for ever.



OLD EDITION 700 Limericks & How to Write Them

Enjoy the limericks and find out how to improve your own verse.

Laughter is good medicine.

Many people suffer from anxiety, depression, stress and other disorders that afflict the mind. Wise folk and doctors have recognized that laughter is a great stress reliever and will improve the general health. To be able to escape worries and strife for a time will do you the world of good.

Limericks are particularly suitable for humor and writing or reading them can be a whole lot better than pills, potions and sessions in therapy.

There was an old man with depression
Who went to his shrink for a session;
But the shrink did a bunk,
And so he got drunk,
But now he has learned his leshun!

When work is getting you down and you are in a rage with someone it can be helpful to step back and see the funny side of things for a while. Reading a little verse or writing one can ease the pain. But be careful what your boss sees, he might not have a sense of humor!

The lady who's known as Lou,
Who thought that she knew what to do,
Complained to the boss,
"You are a dead loss."
"I know that," he said, "just like you!"