EXTRA… EXTRA… READ ALL ABOUT IT
GET YOUR FREE PASS TO VISIT HEAVEN!
My Ticket To Heaven is offering everyone a FREE PASS to visit Heaven for 24 hours, earth time, WHILE YOU ARE STILL ALIVE. Plan ahead now and get your lifetime 100% money back guaranteed Ticket To Heaven while supplies last. My Ticket To Heaven is a fun filled, novelty website that can help brighten your day and get a good belly laugh from your friends and family.
ONCE UPON A TIME, one beautiful summer afternoon while sitting at a picnic table talking to God, the thought of this website came to mind. Well, Morty is not actually God but sometimes he calls himself God. Then again who knows, maybe he is God.
Anyway, we established these simple facts.
1...None of us are perfect.
2...Most of us would like to go to Heaven.
3...Perhaps we could use a little help getting there.
For that reason, My Ticket To Heaven was born.
TO AVOID ILLEGAL ENTRY... Every ticket is embedded with a unique hidden identification code containing the certificate holder's entire life story. There
is no need to worry, as this personalized information is automatically stored when the document is signed and is not retrievable with any man made equipment in this world. Only authorized certificates apply. Fakes will disintegrate upon contact with celestial spirits.
THE PERFECT GIFT... My Ticket To Heaven graphics make great unique gifts, especially for people who have almost everything.
So easy to use, simply save the selected pictures to your computer and distribute to friends and family as often as you choose as a printed page or via email.
Our high quality works of art can be printed in vibrant colors and are suitable for framing to display at home, office or bestow as a unique gift. Each graphic measures 10 inches wide by 7½ inches high and contain wild captions that are bound to tickle your fancy. GET ALL THREE TICKETS IN OUR COMBO PACK FOR ONE LOW PRICE.
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Download: FREE Have you ever been on a vacation and expected to have a great time because everyone else said it was fun? Come to find out that you didn’t like it after all. Now is your chance to make an informed decision before you go on a trip to Heaven for eternity. THE FREE PASS READS AS FOLLOWS: This document certifies that the bearer has requested a little time to check out heaven for him/herself. Please provide your free mystery tour of the galaxies and send them back home in 24 hours, earth time.  Download for Free |
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Download: $1.95 Send a lifetime Ticket To Heaven to the ones you love. Now you can make sure the pearly gates are open for them when the time comes. This ticket is a great way to express your appreciation and for them to get a laugh at the same time. Don’t forget to sign one for yourself! HEAVEN TICKET CAPTION READS AS FOLLOWS: Lifetime Money Back Guarantee: Our no-hassle money back policy guarantees your satisfaction. If for any reason whatsoever you are refused admission into Heaven when presenting this ticket to the receptionist at the main gates, My Ticket To Heaven will refund 100% of the purchased price to the registered owner listed above, no questions asked. A 14-day after death waiting period applies to make sure you're really dead. Only authorized certificates apply. Fakes will get you immediately ejected from Heaven without recourse.
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Download: $1.95 Do you know someone that is usually a good person but lately they have been a pain in the butt? If so, let them know how you feel in a fun loving way by getting them a Waiting Room ticket. They are sure to get the hint and perhaps change their ways for the better. THE WAITING ROOM TICKET CAPTION READS AS FOLLOWS: Warning: You Currently Have One-Foot In Hell And The Other On A Banana Peel. Recently I have noticed that you are a little out of touch with reality during your visit here on planet earth. This friendly warning is designed to help you get back on track, and hopefully, start paying attention to your fellow human beings. Get a life… a new life… and treat people nice, or else. If you don’t value this warning, your fate may get extremely hot and heavy.
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Download: $1.95 Is there someone around you making life a living hell? Now you can tell them what is on your mind without getting all flustered. THE TICKET TO HELL CAPTION READS AS FOLLOWS: One Hell Of A Guarantee…Obviously you were a royal pain in the butt on earth so you will be treated the same way after you’re dead. If for any reason whatsoever you are refused admission into Hell when presenting this certificate to the old geezer at the back gate, Tough Bananas. We will not refund the purchased price of this ticket to you because you didn't buy it in the first place. In addition, if rejected from Hell, there is no alternative but to turn you into a genuine horse’s behind for eternity. Then it’s your turn to put up with a lot of Doo-Doo.
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Download: $3.90 GET ALL THREE TICKETS IN OUR COMBO PACK FOR ONE LOW PRICE.
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