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Smashed-Rat-on-Press

We publish as we please, no matter what gets in our way.

To make our books as inexpensive as possible, we typically take no royalties on our paperback books. That's right -- when you order from Smashed-Rat, you're getting your book at cost! No frills, no padding.

For more information on Smashed-Rat-on-Press, please visit our home page: Smashed-Rat-on-Press.com

A Harlot of Venus

A Harlot of VenusA Harlot of Venus (book)

Print: $10.58

Join the beautiful Cavortia, her "friend" Magnanimo and a host of other colorful characters on a fast-paced erotic adventure through the land of Arcadia in western Mars. Arrests and escapes, sword fights and shipwrecks, evil merchants and honorable captains, and, of course, music, love, secret identities and sexual escapades... Originally published in 1996 by Masquerade Books, this erotic sci-fi swashbuckling classic has long been out-of-print. It is now available exclusively through Lulu. Newly typeset on nice paper with a fabulous new cover by Christine M. Larsen, this edition also includes author's corrections and the two black-and-white maps of Mars that were missing from the original print edition. Don't miss it while supplies last!

A Dancer of Argyre

A Dancer of ArgyreA Dancer of Argyre (book)

Print: $11.34

At last, the long awaited prequel to "A Harlot of Venus"! Beytkliye, a dance student of Argyre, Paradise Above the Clouds, gets more than she bargained for from her uncle in the big city. Meanwhile, in Arcadia, join Pescadalio and his motley, swashbuckling crew as they journey by land and sea halfway around the planet of Mars. What an adventure! Will the threads converge? You bet!

Ergot Suum & the Rampaging Ooze-Worm of Zupiter

Ergot Suum & the Rampaging Ooze-Worm of ZupiterErgot Suum & the Rampaging Ooze-Worm of Zupiter (book)

Print: $7.00

Download: $3.75

Meet Ergot Suum, independent astro hero. His mission: transport Princess Gzeembo of Blazia to her home planet of Zupiter before estrus comes upon her, and earn an easy stack of galactic credit chips. The clock is ticking... And the fuel gauge is faulty. They are soon out of gas, drifting in space, hundreds of parsecs from civilization. There is nothing for Ergot to do but service Gzeembo's insatiable orifice at frequent intervals, and wait for rescue. They have plenty of wine. Will they run out of oxygen? Or be sexed to death? In the remote, pirate-infested spaceways of the Eastern Arm, who knows what can happen...

Fumie's Teacup

Fumie's TeacupFumie's Teacup (book)

Print: $9.78

Junichi is a young fashion designer; his after-hours obsession is with the paintings of Renoir. Kazue, a woman adrift, toils by day in an office, devoting her spare time to doll houses and night life. In the vast urban sprawl of Tokyo, they meet as the prospective partners in an arranged marriage. After the relationship falls apart, their influence on one another continues, catalyzed by the juxtaposition of traditional and modern forces around them. Junichi comes under the influence of Fumie's teacup and soon their separate lives begin to change in unanticipated ways. This novel of modern Japan was first published in electronic form by Spectrum Press of Chicago in 1995.

The Typographer's Left Shoe

The Typographer's Left ShoeThe Typographer's Left Shoe (book)

Print: $6.70

The year is 1932. The typographer Jacob Brown, aged 51, once dreamed of having sons to carry on his trade, but has never married. Emily Weldon, the cobbler's daughter of eighteen, meets Mr Brown while delivering a new pair of shoes. Before long, Emily is assisting in the shop, and soon falls hopelessly in love. With such a vast difference in age, they are hardly an appropriate match. Perusing an old book of Ancient Remedies to learn of love potions, Emily prays they can be together, and calls upon heaven for assistance.

Majestic Freiks

Majestic FreiksMajestic Freiks (book)

Print: $8.02

Enter a world of disfigured heroines, unicorns and dragons, lederhosen, halitosis, beautiful flawed robots, viking demigods, and clever leprechauns. In addition to ultra-modern re-tellings of two folk-tales you are bound to recognize, within these covers you will find four other original tales of magic and mystery.

Surrealist Haiku (Pocket Edition)

Surrealist Haiku (Pocket Edition)Surrealist Haiku (Pocket Edition) (book)

Print: $5.62

This long-anticipated anthology brings us some of the best in Japanese surrealist haiku, a form for which, some have said, the world is not yet prepared. The volume begins with a biographical sketch to introduce the author, who may not be as familiar to English-speaking audiences as other haiku poets such as Onitsura and Buson. Each of the 26 poems is presented in the original Japanese, then in romanized Japanese as well as an artistic/literal translation. The whole is accompanied by copious notes.

On the Klickitat

On the KlickitatOn the Klickitat (book)

Print: $6.86

Another volume in our erotic series. On the ferry out from Anacortes, Caryn and Lorenz meet, and agree to spend a few days at his vacation home on San Juan Island. Christmas is coming. Perhaps romance is in the air.

Diane at Fifteen

Diane at FifteenDiane at Fifteen (book)

Print: $9.46

Though upset about leaving Seattle for a small town in Central Washington, Diane is delighted to have the attic bedroom of her dreams. But no sooner is she settled in than she is confronted by the ghost of Warren Brannigan. In the middle of the 1970s "young" Warren still wears the quaint suit he died in, nearly sixty years before. As their unlikely friendship blossoms into intimacy, Diane begins to investigate the mysteries of Warren´s life. What became of his bride, Priscilla, after he was gunned down? Is she still alive? Together, Diane and her ghostly companion explore the variegated history of their house and the lives of its many former occupants.

Apple Blossom Dreams

Apple Blossom DreamsApple Blossom Dreams (book)

Print: $5.08

The Phillips twins, Aaron and Beck, grew up in Central Washington. They climbed rocks and had fun. They knew the local fruit stand lady. After high school, Aaron went to college and Beck stayed behind. Years later, a phone call from the sheriff brought Aaron home to pick up the pieces of a tragedy. Thus enmeshed unexpectedly in a different life, he began to dream of a magical girl.

Short Fiction, Volume 1, The Erotica (1989-1995)

Short Fiction, Volume 1, The Erotica (1989-1995)Short Fiction, Volume 1, The Erotica (1989-1995) (book)

Print: $10.70

This is volume one of a two volume set of short fiction. This volume contains the erotica and exotica from the period 1989-1995. See volume 2 for general fiction.

Short Fiction, Volume 2, Miscellania (1993-1995)

Short Fiction, Volume 2, Miscellania (1993-1995)Short Fiction, Volume 2, Miscellania (1993-1995) (book)

Print: $8.74

This is volume 2 of a two-volume set. This volume contains the author's short general fiction, 1993-1995. Included in this collection is "Violists", a set of 3 stories that was donated to Project Gutenberg in 1994.

Ichresta, Volume 1

Ichresta, Volume 1Ichresta, Volume 1 (book)

Print: $8.98

Ichresta, youngest child and only daughter of Baron Uteydrihk, wants nothing more than to be a soldier. She longs for the thrill of battle, to weild a sword; to follow in the footsteps of her ancestors, father, and brothers. This first part of the 3-volume novel follows Ichresta's life from the age of nine through eighteen: from the beginning of her formal tutelage under the priest Lhemekin, to her entry into society, in search of a husband to fulfill the promise made on her father's deathbed. Her intimate friend Meitya fears that if Ichresta gets married, she will be left behind. Volumes 2 and 3 of the novel are currently in preparation for publication.