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Matt's Blog

• The Winds of Change

  2009 Jul 10

  You may have noticed recently an undercurrent of darkness that may have felt unnerving, frightening and strange. Me too.

   

  Well Monday (6th July) saw a full moon in Cancer and Capricorn which in itself brings issues around personal safety, security and support to the fore. The very next day saw a partial lunar eclipse to bring even more intensity to these issues and general scheme of things. Breathe. Exhale. And let it go.

   

  On the day of the full moon I awoke and thought to myself: 'I've had enough.' There are many facets within my life that this relates to but in the main this meant it was time to close my healing and therapy business of ten years. So I did it there and then. I closed down the website, called the Inland Revenue, Emailed patients and decided I was no longer going to be a whore to the needs of the few.

   

  The time has come to be a healer to the needs of the masses. Where does this process start? With me of course.

   

  It is now time to retreat, recoil, re-evaluate and remind myself of the difference between compassion and what the Tibetans call Idiot Compassion where we give so much of ourselves that there isn't anything left for anyone. Whether that be physical, emotional or financial.

   

  For if I am truly going to help more people and really make a difference, I must first teach myself how to be self-reliant to prevent burn-out and to tend my own garden of souls with the same loving care I will then extend out to others. How that mass healing will take place hasn't yet been revealed to me.

   

  The longest of journeys begins with the smallest step and right now my feet appear to be completely still. Ah.... and it feels good to rest a while...

• Spiritual Support

  2009 Jul 02

  Hmmmm.... now this may sound more mystical than usual but today I am filled with a sense of silent, invisible yet profound support that I yearn to share with you. Writing in itself is, of course, a very isolated and sometimes lonely occupation. But when you have actually produced something it is natural to want to share it with the world by publishing it. Now of course the first rung of this publishing ladder is often to share it with your family, partner and friends. Sadly, I no longer have any family and the majority of my friends are in India and Spain so having the 'viewing evening' that is my heartfelt dream; with glowing candles, nibbles, giggles and the manuscript doing the rounds from eager supporter to loyal critique is, alas, not for me just yet. I am also single....still! So what to do?

   

  Well of course there are other options - go straight to the agent or publisher if you don't mind waiting anything from 2 weeks to a year, self-publish in print or self-publish in digital to test the water to see how it feels to firstly see it in all its glory and, of course, experience the feedback after people have read it. So that is what I did, I published a shortened version of my first book as an e-book and waited.....and waited.....and...nothing. Not a sausage.

   

  My marketing? Well I emailed friends, colleagues and patients in the first instance; assuming that this book on healing - requested my many - was sure to be downloaded with child-like excitement and fulfilled anticipation. I didn't receive a single download from these particular sources - not one. So I was feeling saddened, betrayed, let-down and all that ego-tainted 'rejection' that often tortures an artistic soul.

   

  Then one night, I was laid in the security of my bed linen with a sense of deep alone-ness that somehow opened me to other possibilities. And I prayed. I prayed for my ego to release me from the selfish trappings of my illusory expectations, I prayed for an alternative 'family' to offer support, encouragement and respect for my work. It appeared that nothing happened until three days later, I was meditating and behind me I sensed the room FULL of strange figures and could actually hear them chattering. Now this in itself isn't a new thing for me, as I often see and hear this when I am working or doing an attunement (Reiki) but then they spoke to me.... 'We are here for you now.'

   

  OH MY GOD!! Literally.

   

  And I fell asleep and had the deepest most nourishing rest I have had for a long time. The next day I went to see my homoeopath and told her, amongst other stuff, what happened. She said: 'Do you feel supported?' OH YES I DO!! Wow.

   

  Our family is not always where we expect it to be. And, indeed, neither are our true friends.

   

  Slowly but surely I started to get new ideas around marketing (not my strong point) and my first 'read,' and indeed sale, was from a complete stranger in the States, then a friend of a friend (who didn't actually know me) bought one and it grew albeit slowly, from there. At this stage it isn't about the money, it is about acknowledgement of my achievements and practical feedback and support to help shape future endeavours.

   

  I am sharing this with you because very often in this business (yes, it is a business) we can all too easily become disheartened and lose faith - especially if we don't have a great support network...so... it is about CREATING our very own support network that will gently but firmly encourage us to carry on, improve and, for me, make more money so that I can assist others who are less fortunate than myself. So I think that as long as your intentions are pure, open, selfless and giving - you WILL find your own support..... from the most unexpected sources.

   

  DO IT! And I send you much love and many many blessings! xxx