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The Adventures Of Portly BoyThe Adventures Of Portly Boy (book)Print: $16.64 Download: $3.75 After a night of alcohol-fueled shenanigans and a morning in County Jail, overweight cynic Howard McKay is sentenced to serve “something like two thousand hours” of community service. The catch? Howie is to don a fluorescent yellow costume and carry out his sentence fighting crime as Portly Boy. Along with his self-appointed sidekick, The Drunkard, Portly Boy roams the streets of New York City—going everywhere from strip clubs to retail electronic stores—doing his best to avoid crime and trying not to help anyone in need of help. The Adventures of Portly Boy is the hilarious story of Howie’s antics, told through a series of blog entries he writes on his buddy’s website. 
Eat MeEat Me (book)Print: $12.00 Download: $3.75 What happens when the dead refuse to stay dead? When corpses crawl from the ground and take over the land of the living? When each bite adds to the army of walking horrors and each day could be the end of humanity? "Eat Me" is a collection of short stories that explores this post-apocalyptic world of nightmares, taking you along on the journey as life goes from bad to worse. 
Not Quite HateNot Quite Hate (book)Print: $11.97 Download: $3.75 There’s a thin line between love and hate, but underneath that line is where things get interesting. "Not Quite Hate" is a book of short stories dealing with human interaction on many different levels—from the natural to the supernatural, from the mundane to the monstrous. Some of these stories are funny, some are sad, and some are flat-out creepy—just like people in real life. This isn’t a place of sunny days and heart-warming tales, and if you’re looking for a happy ending, you’re in the wrong place. The smiles are bitter, the people are cynical, and that warm feeling in your gut is probably due more to whiskey than love. But you never can tell… 
Not Quite HateNot Quite Hate (book)Download: $3.75 Hardcover Print: $25.99 A love triangle shatters with disastrous consequences; a man struggles through a personal hell, dealing with his alcoholism and his nightmares; two people realize their love only to find that it is too late; one man throws his life away for a night of lust while another spends his life searching for true love. "Not Quite Hate" is a collection of short stories dealing with human interaction on many different levels--from the natural to the supernatural, from the mundane to the monstrous. Some of these stories are funny, some are sad, and some are disturbing. They are stories of missed opportunities and lost hope, but they are also the stories of dreams and second chances. |
On The Adventures of Portly Boy: I'm not going to lie to you: Buying this book may be the greatest thing you have ever done with your life. I know, I know, it's hard to know what to believe. Everyone is trying to make a buck, and I'm no different. So why should you buy this book?
If you like to laugh, or feel good, or even if you're just a little mean-spirited and take joy from the misery of others, this book is for you. It's for you, for your friends, your family, your loved ones. It's really a fantastic book, and I'm not just saying that. If you're still skeptical, you can check out some of my other stuff here: The Strangelands. Once you do, I'm sure you'll be back to shell out the dough. If you don't have friends, family, or loved ones, buy this book and I bet they'll flock to you. And if you already have those people, buy this book for them, and you'll be a hero. You want to be a hero, don't you? On Not Quite Hate: This one? Not so happy. It's a collection of stories about relationships gone wrong. Don't misunderstand: it isn't a bunch of love stories (although there are some pretty twisted love stories included). It's about the way that we, as people try to interact with each other, and how it rarely works out for the best. It's heavy on the cynicism, but it also has its touching moments, as well as quite a bit of humor. So why lay down your hard-earned bucks? Because even stories without happy endings can be really good stories, and I think these are. I wouldn't put them up if I didn't think it was worth the dropping of cash for 'em. On Eat Me: This is a collection of short stories. Short stories about zombies, which is pretty much the greatest thing to write a short story about, I think. Even if you aren't particularly fond of the genre, you should buy this book. Why? Because it's extraordinary writing, and the stories are well-told and incredibly gripping. I'm not just saying that because I wrote it, either. I'm saying it because I wrote it and now I want you to buy it. |
I am truly one heck of a guy. You’d love me if you met me. And I’d love you if you had a little monkey on your shoulder, dressed up like a parakeet. Or a doctor. And by that, I mean the monkey could be dressed as a doctor, or there could be a doctor on your shoulder dressed as a parakeet. I’m pretty easy to impress, really. And while I’m being honest, I’m not really a heck of a guy. Here's my website, if you want to read even more of my babbling: www.thestrangelands.com |
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